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A fascinating exploration of the universal human experience of death.
We sat around and on the bed, laughing and joking as if this was a typical family gathering. The shrunken form of our dying grandmother lay on the bed, breathing fast and shallow, her once-bright eyes half closed and sunken in their sockets. To some it might have seemed disrespectful to be treating her as part of the furniture as she took what were her very last breaths on this earth. But to us, it seemed almost normal that we should carry on being her boisterous, jovial grandchildren, filling her ears with the sounds of normality as she slipped away.
Looking back on that experience, Bianca Nogrady realised she had so many questions. Was her grandmother in pain? Could she hear them? Did she know they were there? Was she aware of what was happening to her? What was she experiencing as the spark of life that had sustained her for 87 years finally flickered out?
We know so much about birth - generations of women have shared their experiences with their sisters, daughters and grand-daughters, medicine has exhaustively explored and documented every possible angle of birth, and it is a joyous moment that is shared with friends and family.
But at the other end of a life, death is hidden, taboo, mysterious, fearful, rarely shared and often a lonely, dark book-end. Death will come to all of us - it is one of few experiences that unites every single being on the planet. But we don't talk about it, we try not to think about it and anyone who breaks these unspoken taboos is viewed as being unnecessarily morbid. Yet many who have been present at the death of a loved one talk of it as being a gift, they have taken part in a profound moment.
The End is an exploration of that experience, exploring the human experience of death from every angle - the spiritual, the historical, the physical, the metaphysical; from the perspective of those who have witnessed it, those who face it, and those who have somehow stepped back from it.
The End investigates an experience common to every single one of us and does so in a way that is engaging, compelling, a bit funny and a bit quirky in places, heartbreaking in others, but most of all fascinating.
The End provides a different framework through which to view death instead of the fear and mystery that so often shrouds this incredibly important moment of life.
- Sales Rank: #1001399 in eBooks
- Published on: 2013-05-01
- Released on: 2013-04-24
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
"...brave, clear-eyed work." —Publishers Weekly "Nogrady's book offers a comprehensive reflection on everything we know—and what we can only guess—about the end." —Scientific American
About the Author
Bianca Nogrady is a freelance science journalist whose work has appeared in such publications as New Scientist and Scientific American.
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
‘In seeking to understand death, we are seeking to understand life.’
By Jennifer Cameron-Smith
Bianca Nogrady, an accomplished science journalist, began this book partly as a quest to try to find answers she had to some questions about her grandmother’s experience of death. Ms Nogrady’s investigation has led her to investigate culture, ethics, history, medicine, philosophy and science. Her assumption is that the more we know about death and the process of dying, the less we will have to fear from it. The question ‘Why do we have to die?’ is one which Ms Nogrady sees as having two parts: ‘Why can’t we live forever?’ and ‘Why don’t we live forever?’
‘It would be easy if we could pinpoint a single, universal moment that delineates the point of transition between life and death, but the reality is quite the opposite.’
The book examines some of the myths associated with popular ideas about death, includes some accounts from those who returned from the brink of death, and notes that there can be no firsthand experience of death. One of the big challenges is defining death, which Ms Nogrady illustrates by recounting the ancient parable of how six blind men each have different experiences of their encounter with an elephant. One elephant, six very different experiences. Medical advances, especially in the field of intensive care, over the past one hundred and fifty years have complicated the business of dying by altering the parameters seen as defining life. Death is better described as a process than as an event.
‘In modern medicine, death is the enemy, and if a patient dies it’s tantamount to failure.’
Ms Nogrady explains complex processes (such as whole brain death versus brain stem death, and the importance of each) clearly. The issues around defining death now have a medico-legal significance that can complicate an individual’s choices and preferences immeasurably.
Thinking about death is, for many of us, difficult. We have our own notions about what constitutes ‘a good death’, our own beliefs about what will happen afterwards. In this book, Ms Nogrady explores our understanding of death from a number of different aspects, including opinions from medical experts, from those who have survived near-death experiences, from those who counsel and support the dying and their families. It’s a well written book which provides both a lot of worthwhile information and plenty of food for thought. I’m glad I read it.
‘This book began partly as a quest to find answers to the questions I had about my nan’s experience of death. At the end of this process, I believe I have found some of those answers.’
Jennifer Cameron-Smith
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
all I wanted to know but was afraid to ask
By Pamela Williamson
Lots of information on a topic usually shied away from by most of us. Death is part of life and we need to prepare to deal with it - for facing the loss of family and friends and making the most of our own death if we are able to.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Gets you thinking about The End
By Darren Osborne
No matter how healthy we are, the truth is we all have a use by date. Bianca challenges us to confront dying the same way we plan for the birth of children. There are a number of things we should think about, from planning a will, thinking about what happen to us emotionally when we face our final hours, and what happens to us as we die. The question of when someone is dead is an especially thorny one.
It covers a great range of topics, although the last section on spirituality focus more on the Christian and Buddhist aspects. For a general book that's understandable. My only other criticism is that it can be a little choppy in parts, but you get used to this fairly quickly.
Overall, a great easy read and well worth a read whether you're facing 'The End' or not.
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